My children have been the reason behind some of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make. Even something as simple as what food to buy…. or what physician to use. I use more care choosing these things for them than I ever would for myself. I ensure that they have food, clothing, and while I may not be able to buy them “the best”, they are more than adequately supplied.
We moved this past August back to the area I grew up in and lived in, with the exception of the past 4 years. Remembering the public schools that I attended as a child and taught in as an adult, and talking with many parents that had children in the local schools, we chose a small Christian school for our two school-aged children. Thinking we had made the right decision, and yes, we had prayed about it, we sent them off the first day with wonderful thoughts of how they would grow, and learn about Jesus, and have a quality education in a small private school.
It hasn’t been that way. We’ve discovered that the teachers grapple for control, and contradict things we say even more than the public schools. The children are allowed to be mean and pick on one another, “kids will be kids” being the response I get from the teacher of our oldest when I mention his distress to her, hoping she will step in.
My son, who is only 9, has gone downhill this year, retreating into a protective wall of isolation and depression. He has withdrawn from most social interaction. He is fearful of making mistakes, and failing… afraid of being singled out and noticed to the point that he would rather get an F on a paper that was forgotten in his backpack than to ask permission to retrieve it when prompted to produce the assignment.
I was a teacher, I know how difficult it is. But my concern is for my son. I just don’t know what to do next, when the very Christians that should be helping him, are allowing him to be destroyed. He doesn’t want to be homeschooled, but perhaps that decision should be taken out of his hands. But a positive social environment would be beneficial, rather than our home where we rarely see other people. Perhaps public school where he might not be as judged?
The last Christian school he was in (preK) operated in much the same manner. The little boy who tormented him was allowed to continue by the administration because “we are trying to minister to him and his family.” We moved halfway through that year, so the decision was taken out of our hands. All of the schools he has been in since have been a wonderful environment, where he has been able to grow and learn… and be safe.
Is there nowhere a child can be loved unconditionally and grown spiritually and educationally while still under the protective umbrella of loving and fair discipline?
Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, I’m disheartened. Weighted down with concern, love, pain and the desire to help my child without being the ‘mama bear’ who storms the school to tear apart the ones hurting her baby.
picture at right) at a clearance sale. They have enjoyed them so much.
