self deception

It is frightening, the human propensity towards self deception. And even more so how we seperate ourselves from all guilt and responsibility so long as we get what we think we have to have at all costs.

In the end it isn’t worth the expense of the consequences and yet we still try to avoid any blame rather than face up to the fact that our own actions caused so much hurt to ourselves and to others.  And until we can accept our role as being wrong and repent and work to repair the damage we have done true peace will elude us.  We will have to pacify ourselves with more lies and avoidance until all chance for reconciliation is gone and we are left with only our sin and deception to keep us company.

And still we say it was worth it?  Or will we fall to our knees and turn to the One who gave everything, even His life, that we might live.  Will we cling to our stubborness and pretend happiness and fulfillment?  Or will we allow Jesus to lift us up out of our man-made mess and cling to Him, asking for forgiveness and His help to sort it all out?

There are consequences for everything we do.   Some good and some bad and some are even neutral.  Every choice we make leads us somewhere, even if it is just spinning our wheels  farther into the mud.  Even more, many of our choices don’t just affect us… they affect others as well.  Our family, our friends, our children….

All the more reason to desire to make better choices, and to have someone walking with us along the way who knows the beginning from the end, and is willing to guide and direct us because He loves us enough to suffer torture and death on a cross so that we might live!

That is true love.

Not one of us are perfect.  Not one of us have all of the answers in life.  But we can know the One who does have all of the answers and is waiting for us to look His way.

I have had several friends walk a self-deceptive and harmful (to themselves and/or others) path.   I love them.  I accept them with all of their human frailties and faults.  But when they want affirmation for their actions, and justification, and approval of their decisions,  I cannot give it to them…  it goes against everything I believe. My thoughts keep bringing me back to the only One with the answers, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it… except pray.  And so pray I will.  I’m sure God isn’t up there biting His nails wondering how everything will turn out!

This week has reminded me that I’m not perfect, which I know all too well, and that nothing is more important than my relationship with Jesus.  I need to spend time re-anchoring myself to Him.  I need to be sure He is my priority, not just an option.  And my desire is to be able to reflect that in everything I do and say.  I have a long way to go, but I have a very big God….