Comments on: the memorial service, finally.

By: HW

HW — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 02:06:26 +0000

Thank you, Leopold. I do smile when I think of him… then I cry. But it is so recent. I guess we won’t stop missing them until we are with them.

Blessings,
Heidi

By: leothelip

leothelip — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 04:26:14 +0000

My dad has been gone over 25 years now and I still miss him. Just remember that you will always have those cherished memories of times that you spent with him. Mine always makes me smile and I hope the same for you.

Your Brother in Christ,
Leopold

By: HW

HW — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:44:01 +0000

gchyayles, thank you for taking the time to comment. I know our situations are a bit different, but grief is grief. It hurts. I love you, and my heart has hurt for you and all you are going through.

Your sister,
Heidi

By: gchyayles

gchyayles — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:22:28 +0000

I just read this Heidi. Thank you for sharing; I know it couldn’t have been easy. I can’t claim to know exactly what you’re going through because I know everyone grieves and handles loss differently, but I’m here to listen and pray anytime. Thank you for praying for me. I love you so much. Have a blessed day.

By: HW

HW — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 21:49:03 +0000

Hey, Michelle! Yeah, it was rough, but we got through it. God is awesome.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 21:17:58 +0000

Wow, Heidi, I can’t imagine having to go through all of those emotions about your old church when all you needed to be thinking about was your father. And then to be sick on top of it all. That’s really hard.

I’m sure your father loved the songs you sang for him. He sounds like he was a wonderful person to have known and how fortunate you are to have had him for a father.

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through such heartache. The Lord continues to bring you to mind and when He does I pray for you.

Love you, Heidi.

By: HW

HW — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:51:51 +0000

No, I don’t think it is easy whatever age we are. Thanks, Kelly… you are a huge encouragement to me today.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:20:06 +0000

Heidi, thanks for sharing from your heart. That’s really tough to have to deal with those emotions from your former church, on top of it being your dad’s memorial service. I’m so sorry that they even felt a need to bring up your lack of attendance at their church, when it should have been about the loss in your life. It is sad that some are so one track focused on life being all about what goes on in between the four walls of their church, but I used to be one of them. They really need more prayer than you do! I’m so proud of you for being so strong, and bold, and no longer intimidated by them. Standing up for what you believe in is more important than pleasing others…by a long shot! I know your dad would be proud of you, just for being you:)
again…thanks for sharing your heart about such a tough day. I miss my daddy too:( it stinks…no one is EVER old enough to be without a dad, are they?

By: Pam Vetter

Pam Vetter — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:00:40 +0000

Over the last decade, Funeral Celebrants have been helping families in the United States to fill this void. It’s a personal approach. Otherwise families have clergy they’ve never met before the day of service insert a name into a funeral reading. But, it’s interesting – about 95% of the services I’ve conducted are still religious or have prayers and/or scripture. One of my decedents used to say “God is where your heart is…” Maybe you should become a Celebrant? It’s really a ministry of listening to a grieving family. I think with all you’ve written, you’d be a wonderful Celebrant who would approach a family with an understanding heart…

By: HW

HW — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 18:37:08 +0000

Thank you, Kathy. Yes, it was something I don’t care to repeat again. And thank you for your post, which allowed me to try and put into words the strange mix of that service!

Nor, wow… Thanks!

Honestly, I was glad I could stand up to him with humor, rather than cowering or crying or laying into him. Isn’t it amazing to know that God is holding us? I’m pretty sure this is one of those seasons where He is carrying me, because I can’t do it on my own.

Pam, welcome and thanks. I appreciate you sharing that with me. I was wondering what people do if they don’t have a church. I’ve met a lot of people (in life and on the internet) who love God, but don’t attend a church anymore for various reasons. It surely doesn’t change who God is, but it does make funerals and such more challenging.

By: Pam Vetter

Pam Vetter — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 03:40:14 +0000

I’m sorry for your loss, Heidi. Sounds like you did a beautiful job in singing from the heart for your father. Thank you for sharing your story. I conduct funerals for many people who have left churches for a variety of reasons. They still believe in God and Heaven, but have left the church. You are not alone… My thoughts are with you, Pam Vetter

By: TheNorEaster

TheNorEaster — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 02:33:31 +0000

I’m glad you shared this with us, Heidi. And I have to admit–I loved how you were still able to keep your perspective on your old church when you former pastor told you “not to touch anything.” You handled that with humor and grace. And honesty. I wish I could been there to see it.

Heck, I wish I could have been there. PERIOD.

When I consider how sudden your father’s passing really was, I feel how fruitless must by any words of mine during this difficult time. Truth be told, after everything I have been through and even with all of my so called “wisdom,” I honestly do not know what to say. But I do know that there is nothing I can say that will ever fill the void you are enduring because of your father’s passing.

You had pointed out in a recent post, “When one part of the body suffers, the whole body suffers.” And that is especially true when it comes to grief. But God has promised to wipe away the tears from your eyes…

…not me. Not your former pastor. Not our blogging buddies. Not even the angels who sang together at the foundation of the world.

But God Himself has promised that He will do that for you.

You have come such a long way from that old church. Like you said, You have a relationship now. And in times to come, even if you are hanging by a thread through this season of grief, hold on to that thread.

Because you are so infinitely precious to Him.

And He is holding on to you.

Now. And forever.

Love you.

By: kathyescobar

kathyescobar — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 02:13:45 +0000

hey heidi, whoa, that is so much to do, i can only imagine the weird combination of intense grief from your dad & then having to deal with all of that bizarre church stuff, too. it is so interesting to me, that people focus in on the “come be with us” instead of caring for where you are at. it says a lot about you & your son that he allowed himself to really feel the loss of his grandpa. so painful to see our babies hurt like that but so good that they can. here’s to rest & continued healing on the journey! peace & hope, kathy