Jeff wrote a great post about regrets (read it here) that is resonating in my mind. Do you have regrets? Of course you do. I do. I have made some big mistakes in my lifetime. Most of them are my own fault. Some of the regrets are because I allowed other people to decide things for me (still my own fault). Several regrets are because in hindsight, I think I should have taken a different path (then again, perhaps not). A few regrets stem back to someone else’s poor choices, but this post is not about forgiving others, but rather dealing with my own sin. To be honest, some of the greatest regrets involve a loss of relationship.
What do we do with these regrets? We know absolutely that there is ‘No Condemnation” for those who are in Christ Jesus. But what does that mean for me? Does it mean I hold no responsibility for my actions? No. I still live with the consequences of my behavior. In fact, where it has involved others, they too carry the consequences for my behavior. That is a sobering thought. I’m not the only one involved.
So who condemns us? Romans 8 makes it clear that Jesus doesn’t condemn us. In fact, he is interceding for us! That is quite a thought! We condemn ourselves… others condemn us… we condemn others… the accuser of the brethren condemns us… but Jesus is interceding for us. Wow.
So what do we do with all the condemnation that we are NOT supposed to be carrying? Some people are really good at not carrying it. I’ve always struggled a bit to let go of it.
Since some of my sin has had an effect on others, I confess it to my Father, and receive forgiveness, absolutely! But there are still people who have been hurt by my actions. Where I’m able, I can confess and repent to the people I’ve injured. And I have. But there are areas where I cannot go back and ask for forgiveness from someone. So one thing I can do is confess to another person. I know that in the Protestant/Evangelical circles, we don’t believe there needs to be a mediator between God and ourselves. True. We can go to to the Father through Jesus with everything directly. But there is a scripture that talks about confessing our sins to one another (James 5:16). There is something healing in that. Chad talked about it in a post he wrote about condemnation (read it here).
But after all has been said and done, and we have confessed and repented… we have allowed ourselves to be humble and ask for forgiveness and restoration of damaged relationships… there must come a point at which we forgive ourselves and let it go. Ouch. Is this the hardest part? It is for me. To let go of the self-condemnation and move forward, receiving the grace God has offered us. How do we accept the fact that some things will not be made right by us? That God will redeem it, but we cannot fix it. We do all we can, but some choices and mistakes are beyond our own fixing. Some things have consequences that follow us through our life.
I wish I could go back to a few points in my life and do it again. I would do things so much differently. But I don’t get that option. The only option left to me is to LET GO of what is behind, and press on…
If we can truly get a handle on grace… if we could see ourselves (and others) the way that God sees us… then we can get back up and try again. We can build again. We can try again, this time on a foundation that is solid. We will always make mistakes (say or do the wrong thing at times)…. but it is how we handle them that truly defines our heart and motives, and shows what we really believe.
Don’t misunderstand me… I’m not talking about works. I’m not saying that grace is earned! I’m talking about restoring relationships, and at times there is a bit of work involved in that. I’m talking about learning how to let go of the condemnation and move forward in Christ.