To Be A Fool…

When we are broken by someone or something, how does trust come back into play? When we have been abused, how do we become healed and able to move past that and into a new situation without the remnants of the old holding us or determining our reactions?

Like a person who is beaten regularly and then placed in a new home… do we duck when someone reaches out to give us a hug? Or fight back when we feel like someone is showing the traits of the abusive people from the past?

I have seen children who are so sure they will be abused or abandoned again that they push a new family to the breaking point. Or they push because they need proof that they are accepted, so they ‘test’ their new family to see if it is really true that they are loved no matter what. If the new family fails, they become more sure that they are not worthy of love.

I see adults doing the same. I have one dear friend who loves the Lord, but when she is around other Christians she uses foul language. I know why… she believes that they will reject her, so she gives them a way to do it. And the way she chooses, ensures that she will not be rejected because of “who she is” but rather, “how she acts.” And usually it works like a charm. If it doesn’t work, she starts picking apart their theology, or finding other ways to criticize, until people push her away. I happen to know that this lady has come from a terribly abusive childhood. She is broken, and until the Lord heals the broken places in her, she will continue to force her own rejection.

When we are abused by people who claim to be following Jesus, what is our reaction the next time we walk into a church? And then, if we see some of those same behaviors, should we pretend that it is just all ok? And when it is assumed that we will just “fall into place,” how will we react to that? Is it ok to test the ground in a new church to see if it will hold or if it will crumble?

Can you tell my brain is working overtime today???