To Be A Fool…

April 8, 2008

Why is it so hard to be “real?”

Filed under: journaling — HW @ 8:08 pm

Why can’t we ‘be real’ with others? There are a lot of reasons, I suppose. Fear, rejection, pride…

We have these masks we put on with others. Pretending to have it all together. Judging people who don’t. When really, we are just as messed up… maybe even more, but better at faking it. I’ve come to detest fake. Not the people… but whatever makes people so certain that they cannot be themselves. It just isn’t right.

We moved to a town in NC for 4 years where fake was the norm. Seriously… it was like Stepfordville or something. Everyone wanted to look like they had the most money, the nicest home, the nicest clothes, and that they had it all together. It was intimidating, even though I KNEW it wasn’t true. We are all just people on the inside, right?

I’m not the all-together perfect person. Sure, I can fake it with the best of them, but I don’t want to! Some of my favorite people to hang out with are teenagers. They are so honest! Even when it offends the older crowd… they just want to be real. A few weeks ago I was reading a young athiest’s blog who was asking questions about God. What I saw in those pages was a real person, who is looking for answers to the things in life that don’t make sense. She was hiding behind “athiesm” as a protection from being hurt, but she was peeking out from behind the mask to see what the response was to her honesty. I wish I could say that she was responded to kindly by all of the Christians who left a comment for her.

My prayer tonight is that I can be real. Even when other people reject that… even when they wear their masks and pretend to be something they aren’t. Even when they look down on me. I want to just be me. You know… the one God created, and redeemed. The me that I was made to be. Whoever she is, and whoever she isn’t, she is me. Me, in Christ. Will I be able to do it? Good question. I try already, but some of those behaviors are so ingrained from years of conditioning, that I’m sure it won’t be easy. But I’m making a good attempt.

Proverbs 29:25 (NIV) Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.

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